Before I started doing Made in Chelsea over three years ago, I had a rather successful anonymous blog about the ups and downs of being a single girl in the city of London. I had readers from all over the world, but when I began the show, and my private life became public, I was scared people would put two and two together, so I stopped.
I began writing it in true Carrie Bradshaw style after an ex boyfriend cheated on me (cry me a river, I know) and I had been single for over a year and a half. I’ve always been told I’m attractive (I promise you I’m not arrogant), yet I just couldn’t find any nice boys in the city of London, and I presumed I wasn’t the only one so thought that perhaps people would relate to some of the scenarios, and it turned out they did.
I totally forgot about my secret blog until a few weeks ago when I was at a guy friend’s house and we came across it and read it back to back. We both found it really quite funny (yes I do find myself funny), but also very interesting and relatable even a few years later. It was then I realised a few things:
Firstly, I am still very dubious about there being any nice guys in London. Secondly, I had allowed my writing to become so guarded. I write best when I write about topics close to my heart and emotions and in an attempt to protect my private life from the outside world, I also detached myself from one of my greatest hobbies. Lastly, if my new blog is to be an insight into all my interests and passions, then surely the theme of love has to be a part of it? I mean, I don’t know about you guys but I think and talk about relationships about 50% of the day at least, as if it’s not my own experiences it’s those of my friends. I mean, it’s a topic we can all relate to right?
I’ve been thinking really hard about how to best create this page, as whilst I’d love to take you back through my dark, and let’s be honest, partially embarrassing history of exes, I don’t want to start airing all my dirty laundry and real-time experiences as I am still a pretty private person. Plus, I think that would be a little weird and might ensure I remain single forever.
What I will do though, is discuss issues, or questions that have come up from my personal experiences or those of my friends and share them with you and offer my opinions and advice (in a non-preachy way don’t worry, NO ONE likes those people!). For example, let’s not pretend you’ve never googled the best way to get over a breakup, I mean we’ve all been there right? Right? I mean whilst I can’t provide a magic solution to this question, I have had my fair share of them and with each one have got surprisingly better at moving on. But I will also enlist the help of my squad so we can share our personal tips and experiences on how to deal with the demise of a relationship and loads of the other topics that we all face.
Love isn’t just about romantic relationships though, it’s also about being happy with our colleagues, friends, family and most importantly, ourselves. The journey of self-love has been huge for me! A few years ago I was so depressed and anxious I was convinced everyone hated me, and these days I have learnt to control my anxiety and outlook on life. I want to be able to share all these lessons and experiences with you.
I’m already LOL’ing at myself for making this comparison, but on rapper Trae The Truth’s album intro he says:
“Cause when I look on instagram it’s like everybody rich
but when I look outside its like everyone is struggling!”
And it’s true, people have become fake, not just with money but with happiness. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve become bored of people pretending their lives are perfect online, when underneath it they have struggles. So this page is dedicated to love, for ourselves and others, and for me to bring some authenticity back into what I share with you. I hope you enjoy it.
Speak to you soon,