Ashley James
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Ashley James
  • About me
  • DJing
  • Writing
    • Travel
    • Love
    • Interiors
    • Recommendations
  • Contact
There's such sexualisation and judgement around wo There's such sexualisation and judgement around women (and more importantly GIRLS) with big boobs. I've been thinking about it a lot recently as my already big boobs continue to grow as my body prepares to breast feed. I know that breastfeeding women already find the sexualisation and judgement of their boobs difficult when it comes to breastfeeding in public (@lucymeck1 did a brilliant post on it recently)... So how is it for the 'big titty committee', most of us who grew up up feeling shame because of the sexualisation and judgement of boobs we've experienced since we first grew them as underage CHILDREN? 👙 Whether it's men staring at our chest instead of our eyes, the unsolicited comments, usually followed by "well if you don't want the attention don't get them out", as if we can make them magically disappear. Teachers telling us off for attention seeking when we'd scream because the boys would undo our bra strap through our shirt (it's called harassment, not attention seeking). Other women staring and gossiping, calling us Tits McGhee or asking us who were trying to impress on a night out because we've got the "girls out"... It's a vest top, and I spent about two hours deciding whether to look like an 18th century nun or face the stares and comments all night if I dressed in something that made me feel good. Or the judgement we put on ourselves... The agony of shopping and finding nothing to wear, or finding something we feel good in but knowing in wearing it we'll have to face the stares or people will make presumptions about our promiscuity or intellect. It's why I went for a consultation to get breast reduction at 15 years old... I was a child but wanted them off my chest so I could get more respect from adults, and not have the attention from boys, or the comments from girls that I clearly loved the attention. So I'm anxious about breastfeeding. Because, let's be honest once you're above a D cup your boobs seem to be slightly more 'inappropriate' - both men and women will stare, comment, and judge even if you're in a vest top. So do any big boobed ladies or breastfeeding mamma's (no matter what your boob size) have any advice? 🤱🏼 #bigboobproblems
I love the story behind this dress and wearing it I love the story behind this dress and wearing it today really made me think of the journey I've been on the last few years... I bought it in a little shop in Tulum in September 2017 when I decided to go solo travelling round Mexico. I booked it on a whim because honestly I was in a bit of a rut, and I just had this gut instinct I should fly to Mexico, but when the day came to fly I was pretty terrified. But I knew I needed to get away. At that point, I'd been single for 3 years having come out of a pretty traumatic breakup, and my self esteem was in tatters. I desperately wanted validation from a relationship - I had no boundaries or confidence and just kept continuously getting my heart broken. With each heartbreak my self esteem got lower and I was lonely, I felt misunderstood and didn't understand what I was doing wrong. When I embarked on that trip, I think I even deep down hoped I'd meet someone and fall in love... Because that happens to loads of people when they travel, right? I didn't find love that trip, well, not in the way I was hoping for. But I did find love for myself (sorry that's so cringey)... I reconnected with myself, did a lot of spiritual readings, rediscovered lots of hobbies, started reading about boundaries, healthy relationships... It's where I realised my happiness didn't depend on my relationship status, and I guess it's what lead me to finding the joy in being single. So it kinda made me smile to put on the dress today, and think how that trip not only began my journey of self love, but also ignited my passion to empower women to love their lives regardless of their relationship status, to learn to really love and trust themselves so they only attract healthy relationships. 🤸🏼‍♀️✨❤️ Plus little did I know what life had in store for me 3 years and 1 month later... who knows where our lives will be in another 3 years and 1 month... This year has proven that we never know what's around the corner. But if we invest in loving ourselves and breaking unhealthy patterns, it can only be positive, even when there's storms. ✨
30 weeks today growing our water baby🤰🏼 This 30 weeks today growing our water baby🤰🏼 This week my pelvic girdle pain has been out of control, and I've come to depend on Tommy to help me pretty much to everything (help me up and down stairs, prop me up with cushions in bed so I can TRY get some sleep between the pain, even get me on and off the loo!), but I'm beyond happy to be getting closer to meeting this little bean. Next week I've got a few appointments to try and sort out the pelvic pain (thank you all so much for all your recommendations and advice, I really appreciate you). In doing research I've learnt that in LOT of countries, physio is offered for free as part of the antenatal and postnatal care... It seems crazy that trying to fix PGP is a privilege for those who can afford it rather than a right. But hey, let's focus on birth partners being allowed at scans and early stages of labour first 🙄 But for now, I get to celebrate the last day of our babymoon in this wonderful little haven @elysiumhotel. It's been the perfect escape with the most amazing food and staff (we're paying by the way so no obligation to say this). If you're thinking about getting away but have been hesitant because of the current climate like we were, I can't recommend it enough, I didn't realise how much I needed this reset until we got here. From what I gather from chatting to friends and you guys on here, a lot of us are finding lockdown restrictions hard and mentally challenging, but don't want to complain as we feel guilty because we aren't in the worst situation. If that's you, that makes us caring and empathetic people and we can do our bit to help out where we can, but our feelings are still valid. It's ok to feel burnt out or exhausted. Life has changed so much for all of us. 💞 Anyway, first proper holiday with a boyfriend complete, haha. ✅💆🏼‍♀️✨ #30weekspregnant #cyprus
Do you feel like you can still dress sexy whilst p Do you feel like you can still dress sexy whilst pregnant, or do you worry it's not appropriate? 🐯 Last night I'd already done my makeup, and went to put on this dress and then thought: "maybe it's too much to wear leopard print and a red lip whilst pregnant? Then I had to stop myself, and think how ridiculous that sounded. I'm still me, I still get to dress in a way that makes me feel the most confident... And if anything I feel more sexy now than I ever have. Surprisingly, a lot of you replied to my stories saying that you loved your body the most when you were pregnant. I don't know what it is, because me too... Then interestingly today I listened to a TED Talk all around sexuality and pregnancy / motherhood that was fascinating. She talked about how women (and girls) are objectified so much in society, and this is perpetuated by the media.  We make the assumption that any woman showing cleavage is trying to be seductive, and we see underage girls being sent home from school because their outfits are a distraction to boys and teachers. But we remove pregnant women and mother's from this sexualisation, yet we still objectify them. When women become pregnant they leave the realm of male sexual desire and fall into their reproductive role. This is why even near strangers touch their bumps, and ask intimate details such as if it was planned or your birth plan (and then explain why it's wrong when you tell them). It's the sexualisation of women that has created an normal attitude towards breasts. They are made for breastfeeding, yet people are so embarrassed, or feel so much shame that they feed in a toilet. that's just the talk in a nutshell but it was so interesting. It got me thinking that maybe I felt like I shouldn't dress sexy, because before I was pregnant I too viewed pregnant women from their sexuality? I'm definitely noticing a lot of internalised misogyny in pregnancy. Anyway, I'm not sure if these ramblings make sense, but just what's on my mind today... Would love to know your thoughts. The dress is an old one from my clothing collection with @littlemistressuk - I made it for big boobed dressing, but turns out it's perfect for a bump too. 🐯💞
More accurate depiction of me on holiday... I feel More accurate depiction of me on holiday... I feel like I'm talking about it so much at the moment but my Pelvic Girdle Pain is going from bad to worse so I've resorted to wearing my brace. It's hard not to think of anything else! I had absolutely no idea what PGP was until I started to develop symptoms, but apparently about 1 in 4 women experience it during pregnancy. Pelvic girdle pain is pain which is felt around the pelvic joints, lower back, hips and thighs. You can it in different severities, but mine is pretty severe right now. I'm struggling to do basic thing like walk, sit up and down without assistance, even lying on my sides is painful which is annoying given that's how I'm meant to sleep. I've had a few physio sessions with @themummymot (and have just booked one in for when I'm back), and I've just been recommended a chiropractor. I'm still loving my pregnancy journey, but I'm worried I'm going to end up on crutches, and the smallest movements take so long. But if anyone else has any recommendations I'd really appreciate it. Things I can do or should avoid? Please help! ✨🤰🏼 #pgp #pelvicgirdlepain
The sound of the sea and beautiful sunsets is defi The sound of the sea and beautiful sunsets is definitely happiness for me. 🤩✨ Manifesting that one day I'll own a beautiful house surrounded by nature, the sea, and the sun... But for now, this will do. My coaching really helped me to work on my own limiting beliefs, and I'm reminding myself everyday that if we can dream it, we can do it. 💖 💆🏼‍♀️ My dress is one of my favourites that I got at the beginning of summer by sustainable brand @leol_thelabel. I love that it has ties on the sides and under the boobs, so it can be really fitted...but still fits my growing bump. 🤰🏼🌴
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